Aversion.

In my opinion, one of the benefits of working my own hours is that I have almost complete control over who I interact with on a daily basis. If you've ever worked in an office, you know that you are at the whim of other people working around you. Regardless of whether you're working on something pressing or simply trying to pass the time, you'll invariably get the occasional bored/depressed/needy co-worker standing in your doorway ignoring all of your "I'm busy" body signals yapping your ear off. (This is not to be confused with the "office buddy" whose presence in your office is a welcome interruption and who also clearly can tell whether you have time to chat.)

It's been 3 months since I've had regular interaction with other people and I can definitely tell the difference. I used to be good at polite conversation. Don't get me wrong, I didn't necessarily care about what the random stranger at the random party was saying, but I could pass the time with minimal pain and be at least interactive in the conversation. As I found out on Friday, this is no longer the case.

I've decided to teach a few academic classes at a local prison to switch things up a bit. I've worked with inmates before, so when this opportunity fell in my lap, I decided to go with it. As part of the hiring process, I had to be fingerprinted, drug tested and given a physical examination. They do these physicals at the prison's medical building and they typically take a group of new hires at the same time onto the compound. This past Friday, my group consisted of me and one other individual.

He was my worst nightmare. A stranger with diarrhea of the mouth. It wasn't obvious at first, but as soon as we were placed in a room alone together to wait on prison personnel, his monologue began.

You know, my children showed this ad to me in the paper. Oh, I'm a builder and the ad was looking for someone to teach construction to women in the slammer. I mean, I haven't really done much for the last several months, so I thought "what the heck!" Hahaha. You know, I build all kinds of houses. I love it really. It's such a great feeling to open an issue of Architectural Digest or Southern Living and to think "I can build that!" And you know, building is so much fun. I mean I hire up to 300 people for some projects and I love knowing that I'm in control. It reminds me of the days that I spent back in Nashville in the 70s. I've recorded more than 14 albums! Yes, that's right, I'm a musician. My sound wasn't like the 70s music of back then. Nope, I was a pioneer without even knowing it! Hahaha. I listen to some of these guys today like Tim McGraw and I think, that's my music they're playing! Don't get me wrong, I already make GOOD money building, so it's not the money that I'm missing, but I sure do miss playing for the crowds. Interesting thing though, my college degree is in history. Hahahaha. Funny isn't it? I always thought that I would be teaching, but I don't have a Masters degree and that's really what you need to teach at a junior college......

The entire time he was talking, I was staring at him. Not nodding and smiling, not grunting in agreement, simply staring at him with no expression on my face whatsoever. Inside, I was starting to panic. I mean, how long did we have to sit in this room? Why wasn't someone coming to get us? Why did he keep talking?!? After about 15 minutes, I stood straight up and said, "I'm going to see what's taking so long." It was the first thing I had said to this person whose life story I now knew and whom I would never see again (and if I did, I would run in the opposite direction). I bolted from the room like a startled deer and went searching for someone (anyone!) who could please come and help us or wait with us. When I found the nurse, she said it would be five minutes, so I silently crept back to the room and stood outside of the door until she made her arrival.

After she took us into separate rooms for our physicals (a brief respite), we were brought back together into another room for our TB tests. The phone rang and when it looked like the nurse's phone conversation might last more than a couple of minutes; he turned to me and started up again.

I have 3 kids you know. My son lives right next door to me. I built his house. He has a new baby and he comes over for lunch every day. My wife cooks for us, isn't she a doll? My daughter comes by for lunch too. She's fresh out of college. You look like you workout? She's into bodybuilding. I don't know why, I've tried to talk her out of it. She's 5'7" and 135 and let me just tell you that she does not want to be any bigger. I walk 3 miles a day. Yup, I sure do. I like to stay fit. I think that's why she goes to the gym every day. She always sees me going for my morning walks and it's rubbed off on her. I prefer to walk in the morning. It's so humid after about 9am? I guess that's what we get for living in Florida. Hahhaha.

The nurse must have noticed the pained look on my face because she promptly gave me my test first. When I turned to bolt (again), I remembered that I was in a prison and that I needed to be escorted out. As we waited for our escort, the skies opened up and it began to pour. My options were to wait with the talker while someone scrounged up an umbrella from the main office or to get soaked walking to my car. This was a no-brainer.

As I climbed into my car looking as if I just jumped into a pool fully clothed, I couldn't help but feeling immense relief. I have such an aversion to interactions like that. I would honestly rather feel physical pain than to be stuck in a room with a total stranger who feels the need to tell me every detail of his or her life. I'm sure there's a diagnosis for that. In the meantime, I'm retreating back into my hermit-like existence with the knowledge that I must look entirely too approachable. I'm vowing to work on that.


Food/Exercise Log - August 2

9am: One egg over-easy, one slice whole grain toast, strawberries

11:30am-1pm: Ran 8 miles! (This was my first time at this distance. My achillis is swollen)

2pm: 1/2 Veggie sandwich (hummus, cucumbers, tomato, red pepper, onion, lettuce) and a cup of black bean soup.

7pm: Sushi!! 12-piece sashimi dinner (yum!), a New Orleans roll and a salad with ginger dressing.